


Lost Technology

by Khaos_honestly



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Crack? thats what you smoke? you smoke crack?, Gen, i wrote this in 15 minutes, inspired by a question
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 11:04:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20226811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khaos_honestly/pseuds/Khaos_honestly
Summary: Technology is sometimes lost to the ages, but Sky never thought it would be this one thing that was among it.





	Lost Technology

**Author's Note:**

> i spent only 3 minutes editing this from its live write

Realistically, he should've been the clueless one here. By all standards of logic, it would've made sense for him out of any of them, not to know something. Being raised on an island created by the Goddess herself had its perks in the short run, but Sky had found in his adventures on the surface and with the future versions of the Hero's Spirit, in the long run it was rather unhelpful. In this one scenario, he found himself thinking his home even more cripplingly unhelpful; this time not because he didn’t know something, but because he was the only one who did. 

They'd come into Time’s land, and holed up in the old man’s home with his wife. It was a cozy little thing, very nicely taken care of and decorated on the inside. It was the first time they were really staying in an actual home rather than a random inn or just sleeping under the stars like normal, so Sky was excited to use some of the technology he hadn't seen in a long while, having missed running water more than he thought he ever would. Its surprising how easy it is to take those sorts of things for granted, and nothing could've prepared Sky for the encounter that was to come.

Walking up to the old man, who was taking a small breather from work around the farm, Sky tapped his shoulder, "Time where's the washroom around here?"

Time raised an eyebrow at the caped hero, "I showed you and the others when we got here, it’s ‘round the back of the house, there's a fire pit to heat water too if you feel so inclined. Is the basin missing from near the pump out there?"

Sky blushed a little bit at the slip, it was easy to forget how the language they shared had come to change so drastically over the years. This was yet another thing that really shouldn't have surprised him, the fact that even words like these held altered meanings. "No I mean the toilet, I don’t remember you showing any of us where that’s at."

"The what now?"

"You know, the bowl that you go in? Its got water in it and you flip the handle to refresh the water"

Sky's cheeks felt aflame as he tried to explain what he meant to Time without sounding too vulgar, shifting uncomfortably all the while. Time seemed to sort of get it though, as he waved for Sky to follow him. The hero hardened by time brought Sky to the kitchen and handed him a bowl, and gestured to the sink, "If you'd needed a bowl of water you could've said so, no need for the weird wording. The taps are over there, and hot water has to be done over the stove."

The groan the first hero released was guttural as he grew a little frustrated, "No, Time, I don’t need a bowl you old coot, im talking about the other type of bowl. Remember when Wild said he had to use the lou while we were at his house? Y'know, a toilet?" Could you blame Sky's general upset though, he had to pee damnit! 

Time couldn’t have looked more blankly at Sky though, which only made to earn him a sigh, "ugh why did you have to be raised by a tree? This is so dumb, lets go get Wild, i know he knows what im talking about and maybe he can explain it better." Marching off to find Wild, who was doing the laundry with Malon, Sky dragged Time along with him, despite the taller man’s indignant protests. The second Sky saw the boy he was after, he gave a rough shout, "Wild I need a hand!" 

Trotting over, Wild cocked his head a little bit, bringing his hands up, 'What's up? Malon was in the middle of a story.'

"I need translation help, what do you call the bowl that you go in, with water that flushes away after you’ve gone"

'im sorry, what?'

"Y'know what im talking about! You called it a lou to Twilight and I, but Time doesn’t get what that is either!"

'oh um.. wait sorry im not getting it. There's no water involved, not until you wash up afterwards. The lou is at the back of my house though if that helps any'

"It really doesn’t, I need one and Time doesn’t know what I’m talking about so he can’t tell me where it is." 

Time huffed slightly, rolling his eyes, "Time doesn’t appreciate you talking about him like he isn’t here. Clearly Wild doesnt know what youre talking about either so maybe it’s only something you have"

Sky shook his head, absolutely baffled by the idea, "no thats stupid, why would technology have de-evolved? Apocalypse or not, that isn’t really something that happens most of the time with stuff like this." 

Raising a hand for the pairs attention, Wild politely excused himself and ran back over to Malon, grinning and ready to hear the rest of the story she was telling him. 

The sigh that came from both of them was in direct unison and equally tired sounding, Time beat Sky to the punch for what he had to say though, "Look, try and explain it again, try giving me a little more detail or something though? You even managed to confuse Wild, so it’s not just me"

The embarrassed flush returned to Sky's face as he fumbled to explain, "w-well its.. y'know.. Ugh! it’s like.. Okay its the thing that you use to.. expel things… waste. It’s typically white, and the room tends to have a sink in it as well as a place to bathe. Mine had a hand in it, but i don’t know why that was or if its normal. Do you get it now?" 

Times face lit up in recognition for a split second before it darkened slightly with the same emotion, "Wait and you said you had that on skyloft?"

Sky felt a grin split his features at the realization he was getting somewhere, "Yes! Now, where's yours at? You seem to know what im talking about now."

Time frowned, "we don’t have one, the only place I saw one of those was in my living hell. There’s an outhouse a ways walk from the wash area though"

And just like that, all of Sky's hopes for a clean, flush-able, toilet, for the first time since leaving home, were crushed.

**Author's Note:**

> this monstrosity came to exist because i had the sudden thought about whether or not any of the other links had working toilets, and came to the conclusion that only Sky's actually flushed. Theres an outhouse thing in botw and Time had a hand toilet thing in majoras mask as i came to find out after bringing it up in Balls, the mini server, and later the main LU server, as well as the fact Legend had seen one in an outhouse in Oracle of Ages.  
I live wrote this in 15 minutes and its the single worst thing ive written, please read something other than this of mine lmao
> 
> Chuck E Cheese Legend takes the cake for the worst thing ive ever created


End file.
